you can't do that

in

Pro Tip: Computers are smart, but they’re not so advanced that they can execute operations on data you intend to create at some point in the future. In other words, time travel still hasn’t been invented.

yes, it was

in

(After some convoluted discussion about whether squirrels lay eggs...)

TheKid: So, what's the answer?

Me: What was the question?

TheKid: The question WAS, "What was the answer?"

do not google this

in

Ugh! Worst Misread Sign OTD: Whale Felching. (If you don’t know that last word, I refuse to be responsible for what you find if you do an internet search. Highly NSFW and may require a heavy dose of Brain Bleach.)

kids

in

Revelation of the day: Talking to tired children is not unlike talking to drunk adults - First they say something totally nonsensical, followed by “…because I love you!” and then they unceremoniously collapse in your lap.

not intuitive

in

I have never understood the term “BOGO”. If I “buy one” I always expect to “get one”. Instead, how about BOGOF(ree), BOGOM(ore), or BOGOA(dditional)? That last one could even come with a free dance party!

i want that job

in

Best Misread Job Title EVAR: Epic Clarity Administrator. 

I don't want to read the job description, because it will never live up to the one I've already created in my head.