she’s not wrong…
thekid
good advice
TheKid: Mama, I need to give you some advice.
Me: Ok...
TheKid: Never, ever use a fortune teller. They LIE!
Noted, kiddo.
ew!
TheKid: Romance is when you really love someone, and you kiss them on the eyeball!
Germs = babies
TheKid: [Boy] and me played the kissing game today!
TheDad: Baby, you probably shouldn't play the kissing game with your friends, that's a good way to get germs.
TheKid: Also, I'm not old enough to have babies. When I'm old enough I can play the kissing game and get germs to have babies.
nose goblins
(From the back of the car...)
TheKid: Mama, there's broccoli in my nose!
Me: That's... interesting.
TheKid: I'ma get it out!
Me: Honey, why don't you wait until we get home, and then you can blow your nose.
TheKid: I don't want to blow my nose. There's no boogies in there, just broccoli.
pronunciation
(Driving past Japantown)
TheKid: Robot!!
Me: Baby, that's called a pagoda.
TheKid: BaKOda!
Me: PaGOda.
TheKid: GaPOda!
Me: PaGOda.
TheKid: Robot!!
that's my girl
(After some brief discussion of Zombie Robot Monkeys)
TheDad: Amailah, what color do you think a Zombie Robot Monkey is?
TheKid: BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!
yes, it was
(After some convoluted discussion about whether squirrels lay eggs...)
TheKid: So, what's the answer?
Me: What was the question?
TheKid: The question WAS, "What was the answer?"
poisoned
TheKid: Pardon me...
Me: Did you fart?
TheKid: Yeah. I poisoned my seat!! With farts!!
kid wisdom
TheKid: Mama, what does my shirt say?
Me: It says "I just gotta be me!"
TheKid: ... I can't be someone else! That would be weird!
Wise words, baby. <3
songs my kid sings
in random
o/~
I don’t really know
How I got my face
I don’t really want it
People think I look weird
But that’s ok
They have eyes and I don’t
o/~
dinner time
TheKid: *from the bedroom closet, pretending to be in the Spirit World* SPIRIT WORLD IS HUNGRY!
TheDad: THEN THE SPIRIT WORLD NEEDS TO MATERIALIZE SO THAT DINNER CAN BE DISCUSSED!
TheKid: ... OKAY!!
spreading love
TheKid: Mama, I'm trying to make your necklace fly and spread love all over the world! Bam! It hit me, and now... *collapses in my arms dramatically, batting her eyelashes*
Me: ...you're full of love?
TheKid: Yeah, and love is heavy. I can't get up!
ideas
TheKid: Wait, Mama! I have an idea!
Me: Only one?
TheKid: Well, I have lots of ideas, but only one that might work out...
snow
TheKid: I wish we lived somewhere where it snows.
TheDad: Why?
TheKid: So we can go snow skiing!
Me: Well, we can go to where the snow is, we don't have to live where the snow is.
TheKid: But that wouldn't be very efficient!