Whatever Man

(from January…)

We (coworkers and I) have come up with a new superhero: Whatever Man. Apathy is his super power, and it's so strong that it demotivates any supervillian he encounters.

<Evil Genius> You're too late, Whatever Man! My Ultra Laser Beam of Doom is finished!! All I have to do is push this button, and New York City will be DESTROYED!

<Whatever Man> Whatever, man.

<Evil Genius> ...Wait, what? You're supposed to give me a speech about how evil never prevails, and then try to stop me! Why aren't you trying to stop me?! We're supposed to be having an epic struggle! 

<Whatever Man> ... 

<Evil Genius> ... UGH! Why do I even bother? I'm obviously not evil enough for you to consider me a threat. I went to all this effort, and you don't even care. I should just go back to living in my parents' basement and playing video games all day. ...Hey, wanna come over and play Street Fighter? My mom can order us some pizza. 

<Whatever Man> Whatever, man.