yet more misread phrases

Spectacular New Images Show Enormous Glitter On Mars

New Republican Early Detection

Pantless Dirt Removal

Encapsulated Squid Storage

French Toast Awkwardly Grilled

Midget like a boss

Chewbacca Valley Community Center

Emotionally unsuccessful singer-songwriter...

Contestant Power Cycling

A great idea for vintage sins...

Increase Escape Capacity

Flask Tests

Shipped via First Class Minion

Abusively lowering blood pressure...

How to appropriately back up transgender data.

Invisible Vintage Camera Collection

Evaluating butter impact...

...in space!

Misread Animal Name In A Headline OTD: Twin Unmanned Baby Red Pandas

neigh!

Thank you, brain, for that awesome misread. I'm going to start calling iPhones "iPonies". 

iPonies in the Cloud. FTW.

misread email subjects

“Methadone Traffic Lights”

“Hooked On Meth kit - Brand new!”

“Eyeroll Tech & Ads”

“Request for the nutjob plugin”

“Random Acts Of Kittens”

“Candida Pharmacy”

“UNISEX LISA Attendees”

“Help conjuring SSH tunnels…”

“Necrotized Sour Cherry Preserves”

“How not to be naked”

“Cannabis Rabies Shots - 17 Locations”

“Can’t save pigs on flickr page”

“Extracting life from variables”

“Parsing trouble into a variable”

“Lithium Damn”

“For Sale: Samsung Catamite”

“For Sale: Ukelele Farm”

“Error: Inhaled Twiki Response”

“Best Offer: Rosewood Kitten Set”

“FREE! Funk Beds, oak Furniture”

“Remediation For Golf Lessons”

“Wanted: Writable Condom”

“Certified Mayonaisian Translator”

“Kitten Cabinet Refacing”

misread headlines

Stowaway Mistletoe Threatens Galapagos Wildlife

McCain to Oppose Stormtrooper For Supreme Court…

Makeup-Sex Denied Officials…

Super-accurate ultra-micro cooter is almost like the real thing…

Scientists not naked, but not pretty…

Flavored Scottish Terrier Wins Westminster Title

Find great homemade baby recipes…

SF is proposing trolls between the Peninsula and the city.

Scientists have filmed deep-ass creatures for the first time…

Cakes Found in 3 More Southwest Airlines 737s" 

Resistance to Jupiter Grows in India

Should Electrons Be Held On Weekends?

Snow Executed In The Sierra This Weekend

How to deflower teabags

The Goats of Sex In The City

do not google this

Ugh! Worst Misread Sign OTD: Whale Felching. (If you don’t know that last word, I refuse to be responsible for what you find if you do an internet search. Highly NSFW and may require a heavy dose of Brain Bleach.)

i want that job

Best Misread Job Title EVAR: Epic Clarity Administrator. 

I don't want to read the job description, because it will never live up to the one I've already created in my head.

clickbait

Misread Clickbait OTD: You May Have A Magnetism Deficiency…