he's lucky i like him...

(After noticing that my Rogue streak of hair is getting wider...)

Me: You don't mind all my grey hairs, do you? 

TheBF: Of course not! It makes me look EVEN YOUNGER when I stand next to you. 

Me: (•̆︿•̆)

hipster food

Leaving the mall, teenagers behind me are discussing how "the graham cracker is marginalized."

good advice

TheKid: Mama, I need to give you some advice. 

Me: Ok...

TheKid: Never, ever use a fortune teller. They LIE! 

Noted, kiddo.

ew!

TheKid: Romance is when you really love someone, and you kiss them on the eyeball!

Germs = babies

TheKid: [Boy] and me played the kissing game today!

TheDad: Baby, you probably shouldn't play the kissing game with your friends, that's a good way to get germs.

TheKid: Also, I'm not old enough to have babies. When I'm old enough I can play the kissing game and get germs to have babies.

nose goblins

(From the back of the car...)

TheKid: Mama, there's broccoli in my nose!

Me: That's... interesting.

TheKid: I'ma get it out!

Me: Honey, why don't you wait until we get home, and then you can blow your nose.

TheKid: I don't want to blow my nose. There's no boogies in there, just broccoli.

pronunciation

(Driving past Japantown)

TheKid: Robot!!

Me: Baby, that's called a pagoda.

TheKid: BaKOda!

Me: PaGOda.

TheKid: GaPOda!

Me: PaGOda.

TheKid: Robot!!

that's my girl

(After some brief discussion of Zombie Robot Monkeys)

TheDad: Amailah, what color do you think a Zombie Robot Monkey is?

TheKid: BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!

yes, it was

(After some convoluted discussion about whether squirrels lay eggs...)

TheKid: So, what's the answer?

Me: What was the question?

TheKid: The question WAS, "What was the answer?"

poisoned

TheKid: Pardon me... 

Me: Did you fart? 

TheKid: Yeah. I poisoned my seat!! With farts!!

kid wisdom

TheKid: Mama, what does my shirt say? 

Me: It says "I just gotta be me!" 

TheKid: ... I can't be someone else! That would be weird! 

Wise words, baby. <3

dinner time

TheKid: *from the bedroom closet, pretending to be in the Spirit World* SPIRIT WORLD IS HUNGRY! 

TheDad: THEN THE SPIRIT WORLD NEEDS TO MATERIALIZE SO THAT DINNER CAN BE DISCUSSED! 

TheKid: ... OKAY!!

spreading love

TheKid: Mama, I'm trying to make your necklace fly and spread love all over the world! Bam! It hit me, and now... *collapses in my arms dramatically, batting her eyelashes* 

Me: ...you're full of love? 

TheKid: Yeah, and love is heavy. I can't get up!

ideas

TheKid: Wait, Mama! I have an idea! 

Me: Only one? 

TheKid: Well, I have lots of ideas, but only one that might work out...

snow

TheKid: I wish we lived somewhere where it snows. 

TheDad: Why? 

TheKid: So we can go snow skiing! 

Me: Well, we can go to where the snow is, we don't have to live where the snow is. 

TheKid: But that wouldn't be very efficient!